Then and Now

When we heard the word "autism" come out of the doctors mouth, it was as if I had heard it in slow motion. This was curse word to me that I couldn't deal with--or so I thought.  Our son, Keith, couldn't have proved me more wrong about what a autism was. He opened my eyes to the fact that not all people with autism are the same and that he could do so much more than the doctors thought he could. I immersed myself in all of the information I could find, but nothing really completely described Keith. At first it concerned me, but then I came to realize that though he has autism, autism isn't who he is, just part of him. That's when it got easier for everyone, although we worked hard as a family with Keith, we had to realize that allowing him to teach us how to teach him made life less stressful for everyone. Parenting is difficult at times no matter what, but in my opinion being a good parent is about getting to know you're child at every stage of life, because they grow up so fast. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with all the stages our children go through, (while parents are going through our own); the bottom line is that as parents it's our job to be there for our children and raise them the best we can. Parenting a child with special needs takes a lot of time, patience, and understanding. Know that you are not alone in this and that everything gets better in time. Take joy in the goals met, no matter how big or small, and look forward to the goals ahead. Believe that they can do anything and know that you can too. Please feel free to leave a comment because I am grateful to have them!! Thanks for reading!! ~A Proud Mom~

Why Is There Nothing For Him Now?

            Sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs! It feels as if we just received the diagnosis all over again. At almost 22 yrs of age our son, Keith, cannot find a simple job, and even those are hard to get. I know that this economy has hit everyone hard. I know that more than most because I had to quite me job as a stylist not just due to back pain, but because there just wasn’t enough clients to struggle through it.

I truly feel that kick in the gut again: as though Keith was 5 years old and had just run out of the doctor’s office straight to me… as if he couldn’t wait to get away from this man who kept asking him questions that he couldn’t answer. That moment changed everything. We did all we could to prepare him for this world and life: read all the books, did the entire list thing, taught him manners, how to care for himself, cook, clean, wash clothes--he probably does more than most at his age. But, it seems that in the end it just is not enough. All this time, work, and patience for what? For him to still be unable to get a job and still live at home? This is not at all what we thought would happen for his life. We prepared him for a life with a job and his own place, just like anyone else. Now he is wondering why he can’t have those things. Yes, we have always been very real with him about things, but this is something I can’t understand. We feel helpless…and that is the worst feeling a parent can have.

What are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to get him to the next stage of life as an adult? There is a huge gap in the system for these young adults once all the schooling is over. Yes, there are other programs out there, but unless they help attain permanent employment what good are they? The young adults get experience, which I am very grateful for, but once the program is over, it’s over. Parents do not have it so easy: trying to help their child find work isn’t as helpful as a program finding the child work. We get the “look” and they are not excepting applications at this time, or just go on our website and fill out an application. Still no calls, even if there is some experience.

Autism has become more prevalent in the last 20 years and still there are not many answers to why or how. As a parent it took many tears/years to get past the why’s and focus on how we could make Keith’s life the best life it could be. I always say that he has taught us more than we taught him, but the part of this world we had to see was not always positive. Now more than ever we live in a world where everyone wants to be heard and understood to the point that there are laws changing to accommodate their beliefs.  There are many issues out there that mean a lot to many people and they fight for the, but all I want to fight for is my son. I want to fight for what he deserves and I do not believe having a job is asking too much.

There are many families that just accept what society offers without really trying, but I want more for my son than just sitting in his room all day. I want what he wants: a life just like everyone else with a job he can be proud of. Keith has goals and although I know his goals are pretty high, I cannot and will not shoot them down. He deserves a chance...and is that not what everyone wants? Just because people have autism doesn't mean they don’t want a life outside their bed room.

Please feel free to leave a comment because I am grateful to have them!! Thanks for reading!!

                                                                                                          ~A Proud Mom~