Visual Lists

Before I even knew there was a name for it or that people had been using this technique with children with autism, I had just figured it out by myself. Visual lists can be a huge game changer in helping your child understand the process of things; which can be extremely helpful for the parents. Because most children with autism have a difficult time with change and/or remembering to do things, having a list with pictures and words eventually will help the child know what to do or expect.  Think about it, we all use things like calendars, cell phones, agendas to help organize our days, weeks, and years. A visual list for a child is the same thing. Though it should be more detailed and animated as to keep the child's attention it serves the same purpose. Just as we use these techniques to prepare us for our day, this will help most children be more at ease because they will know what is supposed to happen next and will feel in control of what is happening. What helped me a lot was to realize that the way my son, and other people with autism see the world extremely differently than the way that we do. Imagine you are in a large arena full of people and they are all yelling different things at you all at once. That is what is going through the mind of a person who has autism at all times. Though it is hard to imagine your own child having to deal with this on a daily basis, it will help you learn how to teach them what they will need in life. Please understand, I know that in the beginning it will be very trying and difficult for everyone, but in the end it will help with even the smallest things to bigger ones. Lists can be made for brushing teeth, getting dressed, going to school, going to a friend or families house, doctor's visits, manners in restaurants, etcetera... The possibilities are endless and there is nothing like the satisfaction you get as a parent to watch your child grow and learn knowing you are a big part of that. We made a morning list, after school list, dinner list, and a night night list and at the end of the week if he did well he had a small reward for working so hard.  I hope that this helps someone out there. If you have any questions please contact me anytime. If you have any questions please feel free to comment here, email me, or contact me via my Facebook. Thanks for reading!! ~A Proud Mom~

Prepping For Changes

When doing research on autism, you will see that one of the main things that the kids have a hard time with is change. It can be anything from small changes such as putting on a different shirt to going to a new school, or even moving to a new home. All of these things can cause a lot of stress for the child and parents if the child is not prepared for these changes. Of course we all know that in life things happen last minute and we don't always have control over those types of situations; this is why having some tools in place for these occasions is a big help. 
The best place to start is with day to day activities such as a visual list because this will help your child feel more comfortable being that they know what will happen next. Basically, a visual list can give a step by step guide to many things the child may need to learn and because of this there is less stress and or tantrums. (Check my next post for more on visual lists!) Try putting yourself in the place of your child. If you were put in a situation that terrified you and had no clue what was going to happen next, you would freak out too. I have always tried to see things through my son's eyes which gave me a greater insight into how he thinks allowing me to teach him more easily over the years. Granted, somethings may have been harder to understand than others, but eventually he would just figure it out or something would happen that gave me a clue as to how to help him grasp concepts better.
To give a little background, my husband was in the army for twenty years which cause for a lot of moving, packing, traveling, schools, teachers, doctors, houses, rooms, therapist, the list goes on and on. This required all of us, especially my son, Keith, become acclimatized to change early and often. I feel that we have had a lot of practice preparing him for change.
Here are a few things that we did that helped Keith in preparation for change:

• Regularly talk about the change that was coming
• Mark event on a calendar that is in a central location in the house
• Mark event on a calendar that is kept in the child's room
• Even when nothing specific is happening soon, always cross of each day on the calendars with the child 
• Count down the days with the child
• If possible, show the child visuals of what the change may look like. (i.e. pictures, video clips of others experiencing it, etc...)
• Communicate with the child's teacher(s)

These methods can also assist with occasions that the child just doesn't enjoy in general. (i.e. doctor/dentist appointments, first day/last day of school, etc..) We have always used these methods in order to prepare Keith for small things like when school vacations or birthdays or coming, to big moves. 

I was a hair stylist and once a year we host a Cut-A-Thon for autism where I met more children, teens and adults with autism. This lead me to analyzing this necessity of life for those with autism. I found that most mothers would attempt to cut the child's hair themselves so as to not to have to go through the stress of asking some stranger who may not understand the situation.  A haircut does not sound like a big deal but to those with autism, it really is. Being that the Cut-A-Thon was a large event that was planned for months, families would let their relatives or children with autism know about it a very long time in advance making the haircut easier for me and the person receiving it as well. Those who are more high-functioning also looked forward to an event promoting awareness and meeting others who understand them. 
After giving this a lot of thought, preparing the child for a hair appointment and other necessities like dentist and doctors can be done with less tears with the appropriate approach. Once I understood Keith's need for reassurance, reminders and routine, I knew that I could really help him. 
I would suggest the following when an appointment of some sort is approaching: (Adjust to fit your child)

• First inform the child about the need for the appointment and that everyone has to do it even mom and dad. 
• Speak to the receptionist, stylist, dentist, or doctor about bringing the child in before the day of the actual appointment just to begin to become familiar with the atmosphere. If possible, have the child meet the person(s) who will be helping them when they come for their appointment as well of a mini-tour of the office, salon, etc... (Repeat this step as many times as necessary.)
• During these pre-visits consistently talk to the child about what will happen during the appointment, when, why, and if possible have the child watch someone else, such as a sibling or yourself go through the motions of the appointment. With haircuts, dentist/doctor appointments, my daughter (when possible) would always let Keith sit and watch her  uring her appointment first. This way he would know what to expect when it was his turn.

• With the child make a visual list or index cards with pictures depicting what happens when the child goes to the doctor, therapist, dentist, salon, etc... 
• Go over the list at home the day before and the day of the appointment as well as in the car before going into the building. 

This may seem like a lot, but the places that you make these appointments will not refuse you these things because they are necessary. (Besides, if they do not want to cooperate in making your child comfortable, they will lose your business. It's that simple.) All of these steps will assist your child in accepting change with more and more ease as they grow and mature.There is nothing like the pride you will feel when you see that the tools you gave your child actually helped them to grow. As time goes on dealing with change will be as simple as a conversation and reminders of past situations they made it through.
I do understand that autism is a huge umbrella that range all over, but I beg you, please know that with some patience and time any child can improve in even the smallest of ways just don't give up on them.

Thank you for reading! Please leave comments, suggestions or questions! I will gladly answer any questions that you have for me or write about topics that you suggest! Don't forget to subscribe to my blog or add me on Facebook!
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~A Proud Mom~